Oh poker....

Oh poker, thou art one heartless bitch.

I'm a strong believer in karma. I don't exactly go throughout the day while helping small birds fly and nursing injured butterflies back to full health, but I try not be a complete and utter bastard. I would like to think that the arsehole in the BMW who cut me up will at some point suffer some calamity in order to right the scales.

I think in a much, much smaller way karma applies to poker. You get some bad luck and some good luck. If you get a massive, massive stroke of good luck then at some point you are likely to come a cropper. I think this is what I'm experiencing.

I'm not usually one to bitch, moan and complain if I loose at poker. So long as I'm happy with the decision I made, I'm don't mind if I've been outplayed. I'm not one of these sorts who troll around the internet going “Derp Derp DONK Derp Derp” every time they loose a hand. I'm angry at times, sure, but try to at least fake some decorum.

On Tuesday I managed to sneak a win in a little “friendly” pub game I play in possibly the cheekiest manner possible. After getting heads up, I did a pure bluff all in to try to steal a small raise. Except they of course called, as they had an Ace and a King. And I only sort of had a seven and a two... and I sort of hit a seven and won. Yikes. That is sort of like an F1 car being beaten by a Smart Car.

Since then, I've been paying. I've sat down for two little online poker sessions since then and have suffered from some sort of poker karma. Honestly, it is just ridiculous. As I type this, my King Queen suited was beaten by nine seven off because they flopped a full house. This no longer worries me and I perceive it as normal.

So I am using this posting to formally regret the poker gods to cut me some slack. Please. I mean, I didn't mean to get cheeky. Honest. I would have done the dummy all in shove with any two cards. Please, I'm sorry I won. I even said that at the time. At least give me a fighting chance!

My Big MLS Rant

I wrote this little rant about Major League Soccer for one of my London Chronicles pieces over at Elevation Radio. Except it is horrendously off topic so did a little bit of self editing. I can post it here though.... enjoy!


Now, last week I got a wrapping of the knuckles for making fun of David Beckham's beard. To quote Mr. Elevation - “He is all (MLS) has”. Well, once again, you don't have him. It is all but a done deal now that will see Sir David of Beckham return to Milan in order to ensure he gets his ticket to South Africa for the World Cup. Let's look at this two ways (as The Premiership isn't that full of scandal this week, I have some column space).

It is very, very good for England. Beckham lifts England. Not having Beckham in the England squad is awfully reminiscent of the mismanagement of England from a few years ago. He can still distribute the ball and deal with dead ball situations better than anyone else in that squad. When he was initially dropped, the argument was that he was not a part of England's future. That was true. He is still a massive part of England's present. Being in Milan will see Beckham gearing up for his last World Cup playing in one of the world's top leagues and for one of the world's top teams. Now, let's see if he continues his tradition of breaking his foot just before the tournament starts...
The down side is it shows MLS up for what it sort of is. I watch a fair bit of MLS when it's on ESPN over here. I mean absolutely no offence, but the standard isn't great. Football in the States has a lot of potential – just look at how good the USA National Team are – but MLS by their very nature are choking the game. I'm not even talking about player quality, as that can only get better as more young people choose to play soccer and the collegiate game improves. I'm talking in the nature of it's set up.



The season is out of sync with Europe as MLS team's can't play in the winter due to sharing stadia with NLF teams. The salary cap, draft and player caps that are present in MLS are unique to US soccer, and incompatible with the rest of the world. In terms of soccer, I also have real issues with the two conference system, although with the massive distances teams have to travel it is more than understandable.



I suppose it boils down to this – MLS will never, ever be able to integrate itself into the world game while it insists on it's current model. I know a lot of it is designed to give sustained growth both financially and in terms of player development, but it cannot work. You cannot expect one league to be able to join in when it does absolutely everything differently. This isn't like the designated hitter rule. This is square shape into a round hole stuff. If Chelsea wanted to sign Landon Donavan for about £7m (a fair price, probably) then LA Galaxy would see about £250,000 of that money. They couldn't go out and spend it all to replace him. This is the only league where that happens.



I really, really want soccer to take off in the States. Soccer has been 'on the brink' since the 70's, except nobody has dared to shove their chips onto the table and put the ante up. Look at the short term exposure that Beckham got. Now imagine if that was happening every season, because the MLS was viable option for top players. Top players attract top sponsors, which attracts top TV and fans through the turnstiles. Imagine if the MLS could field competitive sides against top European clubs. Imagine if when a player like Robinho gets unsettled and could move on, he could just as likely play in Houston as he could Barcelona.



MLS needs to take a look at Manchester City and Chelsea. They were pushed that next step by throwing money at it. I know I bemoan the money in football, but if it was used to propel soccer in the States then it would be a glorious thing. It would equal the karma.



Beckham must have repaid most, if not all and then some, of his price tag back in merchandising and marketing rights for LA Galaxy. If the New York Red Bulls threw $100m at Anelka, or if the Chicago Fire threw $200m Tevez, or whatever, it would get a fair bit of interest as well. It would also sustain interest. Players of that calibre also sustain financial interest, which is equal to that of fans.



Also, are you telling me that between any sports' minor league teams, colleges, midweek use of NFL stadiums and the like, MLS can't find a few 20,000 capacity venues to use during the winter? Are you telling me Red Bull or Mark Cuban don't have an extra $500m to invest?



More to the point, MLS appears to think that attracting one or two big players and money is the be all and end all. The absolute number one problem they have, even above the way the league is made up, is that no non-American player really cares about winning the MLS Cup. The reason some players are so desperate to play in The Premiership, Serie A, La Liga and the rest of them is because they are prestigious. To be able to say you won two or three of the biggest leagues in the world in your career is huge. It puts you in another class of athlete. It needs to be something an athlete wants to do. MLS won't take off overnight. Nor will it be able to slowly burble into life, like it is trying to do now. If the MLS puts in serious money and effort into recruiting players like Beckham, and spread the players around the league, the league itself becomes more prestigious. The league becomes a more viable option for players both financially and competitively. The increase in sponsor, TV and fan interest means bigger growth. Only then can the MLS really shine.

How you know if you had a good Halloween...

4am - Somehow make it to bed. Pass Out. 

11am – Wake up in agony. Use bathroom, drink whatever liquid is on bedside table. Go back to sleep.

Midday – Wake up again. Eat rest of chow mein that was somehow obtained the night before. Go back to sleep.

1pm – Finally get up. Stumble downstairs. First flashbacks of inappropriate behaviour. Spend next hour breathing quietly in the corner. Take first aspirin.

2pm – Consider eating something. Think better of it.

2:30pm – Eat something. Regret it quickly. Spend more time breathing quietly in corner.

3pm – Track down phone. Check for drunken calls, texts and emails that may have been sent.

3:30pm – Firm reminders of inappropriate behaviour return. Breathe quietly in the corner while groaning.

4pm – Regain will to live.

4:30pm – Attempt first cigarette of day. Big mistake. Take two drags, dry heave and stub out. Will to live retreats again.

5pm – Check credit card balance. Pray that nothing was bought online.

5:30pm – Check wallet for cash. Find no notes but a small fortune in change.

6pm – Get phone call to check if you're still alive. When the answer is yes, get surprised answer.

8pm – Finally get enough liquid back in body to urinate. Get cocky and try another cigarette.

9pm – Finally the blood alcohol levels drop down to sane levels. Drive to fast food place and buy as much food as change allows.

10pm – Slink in front of sofa and suffer the affects of fast food. Check poker account to make sure no gambling occurred.

11pm – Go back to bed. Check Facebook on laptop. Loose will to live again.

11:30pm – Beer poo.

12:30am – Try to sleep. Body too broken to even achieve that.

1am – Start playing video games. Big mistake. Start feeling much better.

4am – Realise it is 4am. Feel almost back to full health.

6am – Go to sleep.

10am – Alarm clock goes off as you have to start working. Will to live completely goes.

7pm – Return to scene of crime. Be told of full details. Be surprised you were even allowed back in. Start planning fireworks night party to do it all over again.

For my two returning visitors....

....I'm currently away this week. I'm not on a holiday as such, its more like a work camp. I'm staying at my cousin's nursery\orchard type thing while I help him lay some new industrial flower beds. It is all fun and games.

Unforntunately, the end result is no post today. Have an epic picture and make do. See you Thursday!

NFL in the UK

Well, today the NFL is playing at Wembley. As I type this I'm watching that game on the telly while keeping track of the Vikings vs Steelers on Game Pass. I'm a little bit of a huge fan. I do feel guilty not being at Wembley, like as a fan I have some obligation that I have to go, but frankly I have no desire to watch Tampa struggle to get anything going while the Patriots get a nice lead then kill the clock for three quarters. Oh, and having to pay £160 for the pleasure. A probable £250 Sunday late in the month just before Christmas isn't cool.

Oh look, Tampa just threw an interception. That was totally unexpected...

Anyway, even though I'm not there I do love the NFL. But there appears to be a bit of anti-NFL in the UK feeling out there. Chris Chase wrote a pretty scathing piece, and a lot of the commentators in absolutely any US based NFL blog have been very against the whole thing. I'm all for it. I get rather excited when Roger Goodell gets chatting about adding another game or maybe even a Franchise.

But there is a little something that I would like to see before we get all of that stuff. It's a very basic thing. That is some decent TV coverage.

You see, for those who don't know the TV coverage for NFL over here has taken a major nose dive. Coming into last season, we had a full compliment of magazine shows and 6 games a week live on the telly box. This year, we have magazine shows shown so long after the games that they are irrelevant, the same re-runs of NFL documentaries that have been on Sky for the last 2 years and only 3 live games a week. Next year, under the terms of the current contracts, it will drop to 2 as Five is scrapping all late night sports to show a television casino type thing.

I doubt that the NFL will ever do it, but if they truly want to grow the game then they should consider maybe subsidising TV contracts to boost the number of games back up to a realistic full compliment of 6per week. Maybe they could try providing edited versions of their TV magazine shows for international markets, as they are currently so full of advertising they can't be shown until 5 days after the events.

I can see where the NFL is going with their expansion plans. See if the UK market can support 4 games a year, then maybe give them a franchise. But please, please can we sort out the basics first?

BNP on Question Time

Now, who thinks that I can get through an entire article on such a delicate and polarising subject without either committing libel, insulting someone or writing something stupid that will come back to haunt me? Yeah, me neither. This is also going to be one of those wordy, serious bits. Sorry about that.

Tonight the British National Party is on Question Time.

For any non-British people reading this, the British National Party are essentially anti-immigration, anti-anything-not-typically-British sorts who want to stop immigration, 'voluntarily' repatriate anyone who is not of white Anglo Saxon descent and turn the entire country into some white supremacy state. Yeah, those sorts.

Lets see if I can write about it without incriminating myself.

For the record, and to start off with, I do not support or like the BNP. They want to live in some deluded, isolated world that is reminiscent of the sort of thing that Enoch Powell dreamt of. I love multiculturalism, I love the fact that so many different types of people live here and I love the way that the UK has been changed by it. We used to own most of the world. Now most of the world is represented inside our shores.

That being said, I do sort of 'agree' with the BNP on certain things. Now, once again, I do not like nor support them. But they do have the odd good point. At times this country does compromise core values for the sake of political correctness. At times, especially when dealing with local government, it does seem that indigenous Brits get a bit of a raw deal. I can understand the frustrations that have bread this party. I feel an awful lot of them at times.

But the BNP is in no way, shape or form the way forward.

Although they have dressed themselves up in recent years to get away from the skin heads and swastikas of their past as the National Front, they still hold the same core values. They have been caught lying about racial murders at support rallys. Nick Griffin, the party leader and public face of the BNP, has been caught calling Islam a “wicked” religion.

They are not the sorts of people you would invite to a dinner party, lets say.

But the problem is that the sentiments they feed off are present in British life. And none of the mainstream parties seem to be willing to confront them, as often if they do people jump up and down and shout “racist!” at them. This has lead to the BNP emerging as a party who not only don't care about courting controversy, but thrive under it. The amount of press attention they get is hugely disproportionate to their actual standing in the political spectrum.

Many British people, myself even at times, feel the frustrations that the BNP claims to want to solve. Simple things, like making St Georges Day a national holiday, stopping the scaling back of Christmas so as not to insult or intimidate people of other religions. At the sight of it, it is a perfectly nice set of policies. But still hidden underneath that are the policies of repatriation and stopping immigration.

In a way, the BNP are good for politics. Once again, I do not like or support them. But they ignite debate over sensitive issues. The only problem is the main parties refuse to deal with them or the issues they raise, meaning that the BNP gain ground.

Tonight, when Nick Griffin sits amongst 'real' politicians and debates, hopefully it will kick start the larger debate. The only way to stamp out the BNP is for mainstream parties to address the same issues as them. The fact that the BNP can get the votes they do on racial issues alone, issues that larger parties mainly shy away from, shows that it is a pressing issue for many.

Once again, I do not like or support them. But I can sort of see where they are coming from. I do not like, support or totally agree with them. I cannot say that enough.

As for the whole debate on whether they should even be allowed on Question Time or not, I think they should be. Like it nor not, they are a party that gets votes, has a Member of European Parliament and a person on the London Assembley (the group that governs this nation's capital). They are represented. Not letting them on is pure censorship of the free media. I would much rather live in a country that lets a party like that exist than censors them. Once again, I'm not a supporter of them by any stretch, I'm just a supporter of democracy and free speech. On the other end of the spectrum, I believe the extremist Muslim group that wants to protest in London for the immediate implementation of Sharia Law should be able to. It is their opinion. If they can voice it in a peaceful way, then go for it. Free speech.

The one repercussion, though, of having Nick Griffin on Question Time is the chance that he actually does a good job, and comes over as sane, logical and normal. The consequences of that...

Anyway. I'll sign off with what I think needs to be done to fix the frustrations and issues that the BNP feeds off of. Because I'm a glutton for punishment.

St Georges Day needs to be made a national holiday. Give everyone the day off work, hold some big events in city centres and the like. Currently, I make more of an effort to go out and have a Guinness on St Patrick's day than I do have an ale on St Georges day.

Also, at the end of the day, this country is by nature a Christian\Catholic\Church of England country. All three celebrate Christmas. Don't scale it back with 'Happy Holidays' and 'Season's Greetings' and the like, while we take the Christ out of it and call it Xmas. Let kids do their nativity play. But, by the same stretch, let kids do a Ramadan or Diwali play. Celebrate all the religions' major events. Immigration needs to be looked at, although my political knowledge is not great enough for me to interject an idea of how.

The BNP are dangerous. Hopefully tonight, though, they will do some good by sparking the debate which brings out the issues they thrive upon. This will allow the major parties to tackle them, hopefully adopt some of the more sane policies that the BNP has used to gain a foothold in British politics and, in doing so, cut their legs out from under them.

Jay Culter Cost Me Money, Logically Leading Into Poker Bad Beats

According to Google Images, this large man is the Chicago Bears' emo kid QB... I call shennanigans

 

The Chicago Bears are currently sat very high up on a naughty chair in my opinion. Who could resist the Bears, with their speedy and wide ranging receiving corps, mean defence and great young running back at +4.5 points against the Atlanta Falcons. It isn't that I don't think the Falcons are bad or anything. Far from it. I just can't help but think the Bears are better.

Except Cutler decides to throw two interceptions, one of which was in the red zone. And then Matt Forte decides it will be a whole barrel full of laughs to fumble the ball not once, but twice on consecutive plays in the end zone. All in all, the Bears should have had 3 more touchdowns than they actually did, easily been within 4.5 points of Atlanta and they wouldn't have cost me my entire sports book balance. What is more gutting is that thanks to my own, personal rules, I can't reload it until next month. Gah!

I meant this Jay Cutler all along. I think Google Images had one of it's moments earlier...

As you can tell, I'm a bit of a sore loser when it comes to certain things. But at the end of the day, it is called gambling for a reason. I'm not an expert, I do it recreationally. I never bet on teams I support as heart clouds the judgement, and sometimes do it to add a bit of excitement to games I'm not all that otherwise interested in.

My philosophy is much the same in poker. Every poker player knows the pain and anguish of a bad beat. Whether you have the nuts pre-flop or even going into the river, only to have that one bloody card you did not want to see pop out and give the hand to someone else, it sucks. There is no other way for it. Whether you have to see yourself walking away from a tournament table or paw longingly at where your large stack at a cash table used to be, it just is not fun. But it is poker. The reason the other player as a 5% chance is because, 5 times out of every 100 that you are in that situation, it will go the other way.

This is why I absolutely have bad losers at poker. They are far more prevalent on the interweb than in real life casinos, as real life casinos tend to kick people out if they act like douche bags. They are the people who, if they get beaten from behind, go on and on about it for ages. It may be that I'm neither a semi-pro player nor someone who has aspirations of going pro. I enjoy the game. If I'm having a good run I'll play more, if I'm not I'll stop for a week or two. This is nicely summed up by my SharkScope stats, as after 230 tournaments at the site I use I'm exactly up $3.

However, some people are awful losers. Point in case, on Saturday afternoon I was watching some sport on the telly and playing poker online, a favourite combination of pastimes. I was playing a $5 single table sit and go, which means 10 players each pay $5 plus a little bit that goes to the company and the top 3 get paid winnings, with a top prize of $25. Not exactly world series of poker style, near $10m first place prize cash pools here. There was one guy who was getting very shaken at the table and I thought may be on tilt, meaning he may be making bad decisions. He had raised big pre flop and I thought it was a desperation bet, so I went all in with one of my favourite hands – an ace and a nine of the same suit. He called and had an Ace and a Jack meaning that I was absolutely dominated about 70/30. Needless to say, I hit a 9 and won the hand. He then spent the remainder of the tournament (which I won, go me!) berating me via the little chat box.

I've never got this mentality. Yes, it sucks to lose when you are ahead. It sucks to be a football team that throws away a 2-0 lead. It sucks to be an NFL team that throws away a 3 score advantage. It sucks to be a cricket team that looses a lot of wickets in quick succession. But c'est la vie. It happens. Be the bigger man, tell someone they got lucky (believe me, they will know they got lucky) and fight another day.

For the record, the worst beat I've ever seen was against my mate, and fellow soon to be Ball Soup writer, McGoo. Someone he was up against needed two 5s in a row to win a big hand. He got them. I will allow swearing in situations like that...