11th November

I was going to write a post today about how silly my life is working for both UK and USA based people, how I have no body clock and how I fell asleep at my desk only to wake up at 4am with a bit of a headache last night. I was going to write an article saying about how I hate blogs who don't update on time, as I didn't yesterday. When I woke up at 4am I still had a few other articles to finish off and just finished them off and went to bed.

Then I realised what today was. 11th November. If you're an American reading this, it's Veterans Day. If you're a fellow Brit, it's Armistice Day. Suddenly, I felt deeply ashamed about complaining how doing a job I love with all my soul means I keep odd waking hours . At least my day to day occupational hazards are things like carpal tunnel, stubbing my toe on the desk and staring at blank white pages long enough to send me a bit mad. I don't have to worry about RPGs, snipers, gun locks and road side bombs. I don't have to worry about mortar fire, suicide bombs and death.

I'm a big supporter of troops. I don't like the politics behind the current wars our troops are in, but I've always held the point of view that at the end of the day they are there and you have to support them. What they do day in day out is incredible, and I know in my heart of hearts I couldn't do it. I'm also a firm believer of the 'The lowest paid soldier should be given more than the highest paid footballer' theory. If people ask me about my views on it, I just say 'Pro-Troop-Anti-War'.

I've had two thoughts about today. About what it means and all that. I'll voice them now. And I promise I'll make some cock jokes tomorrow when we return to our regularly scheduled sort of update.

I read this post by one of the Kissing Suzy Kolber bloggers, Matt Ufford, earlier, and it shook me up. I didn't actually know that the guy had been to war as a tank commander for the Marines in the initial invasion of Iraq a few years ago. But his piece is just such a human response to the whole thing. As much as soldiering is about bravado and brawn and strength and courage, soldiers are human too. I know to me soldiers are super heroes, so its odd to hear them say they are scared. And I think it is becoming increasingly apparent that that is what makes them the amazing people they are. More and more, soldiers are speaking about not only the times when they won the day, but also what happens when they come off second best. They are scared, and endure. Read it, as it is an amazing piece of writing. It gives a slant on soldiering that most people don't consider.

The other thought is more a rhetorical one.

Tonight, there will be two types of people. One will be sat at home pounding Red Bull's and playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. The biggest game of the year was released this week, and no doubt Xbox Live will full of people playing it. Full of people shooting and killing, complaining about re-spawns and snipers. Full of pawnage and 1337 and everything. Full of celebrating the big kills.

One will be sat at home pounding a bottle of whiskey and trying to keep out the memories of their time at war. Trying not to think of lives they have taken, trying not to think of any of their friends who didn't make it and trying to keep out of a dark place. I know not every soldier who comes home is broken, but war affects people in many different ways. For every person who took today to pay respects to their fallen comrades and feel the sense of pride that only a veteran is entitled to, there will be someone who hasn't handled combat as well.

In WW1, Sigfried Sassoon wrote the following.

'Pray that you will never know the hell where youth and laughter go.'

On a day where we remember veterans, remember the fallen and give our eternal thanks, millions of the youth will be playing a war game recreating the horrors that defined a generation.

I just think that is fucked up.