Oh poker, thou art one heartless bitch.
I'm a strong believer in karma. I don't exactly go throughout the day while helping small birds fly and nursing injured butterflies back to full health, but I try not be a complete and utter bastard. I would like to think that the arsehole in the BMW who cut me up will at some point suffer some calamity in order to right the scales.
I think in a much, much smaller way karma applies to poker. You get some bad luck and some good luck. If you get a massive, massive stroke of good luck then at some point you are likely to come a cropper. I think this is what I'm experiencing.
I'm not usually one to bitch, moan and complain if I loose at poker. So long as I'm happy with the decision I made, I'm don't mind if I've been outplayed. I'm not one of these sorts who troll around the internet going “Derp Derp DONK Derp Derp” every time they loose a hand. I'm angry at times, sure, but try to at least fake some decorum.
On Tuesday I managed to sneak a win in a little “friendly” pub game I play in possibly the cheekiest manner possible. After getting heads up, I did a pure bluff all in to try to steal a small raise. Except they of course called, as they had an Ace and a King. And I only sort of had a seven and a two... and I sort of hit a seven and won. Yikes. That is sort of like an F1 car being beaten by a Smart Car.
Since then, I've been paying. I've sat down for two little online poker sessions since then and have suffered from some sort of poker karma. Honestly, it is just ridiculous. As I type this, my King Queen suited was beaten by nine seven off because they flopped a full house. This no longer worries me and I perceive it as normal.
So I am using this posting to formally regret the poker gods to cut me some slack. Please. I mean, I didn't mean to get cheeky. Honest. I would have done the dummy all in shove with any two cards. Please, I'm sorry I won. I even said that at the time. At least give me a fighting chance!
Thursday, 5 November 2009
Wednesday, 4 November 2009
My Big MLS Rant
I wrote this little rant about Major League Soccer for one of my London Chronicles pieces over at Elevation Radio. Except it is horrendously off topic so did a little bit of self editing. I can post it here though.... enjoy!
Now, last week I got a wrapping of the knuckles for making fun of David Beckham's beard. To quote Mr. Elevation - “He is all (MLS) has”. Well, once again, you don't have him. It is all but a done deal now that will see Sir David of Beckham return to Milan in order to ensure he gets his ticket to South Africa for the World Cup. Let's look at this two ways (as The Premiership isn't that full of scandal this week, I have some column space).
It is very, very good for England. Beckham lifts England. Not having Beckham in the England squad is awfully reminiscent of the mismanagement of England from a few years ago. He can still distribute the ball and deal with dead ball situations better than anyone else in that squad. When he was initially dropped, the argument was that he was not a part of England's future. That was true. He is still a massive part of England's present. Being in Milan will see Beckham gearing up for his last World Cup playing in one of the world's top leagues and for one of the world's top teams. Now, let's see if he continues his tradition of breaking his foot just before the tournament starts...
The down side is it shows MLS up for what it sort of is. I watch a fair bit of MLS when it's on ESPN over here. I mean absolutely no offence, but the standard isn't great. Football in the States has a lot of potential – just look at how good the USA National Team are – but MLS by their very nature are choking the game. I'm not even talking about player quality, as that can only get better as more young people choose to play soccer and the collegiate game improves. I'm talking in the nature of it's set up.
The season is out of sync with Europe as MLS team's can't play in the winter due to sharing stadia with NLF teams. The salary cap, draft and player caps that are present in MLS are unique to US soccer, and incompatible with the rest of the world. In terms of soccer, I also have real issues with the two conference system, although with the massive distances teams have to travel it is more than understandable.
I suppose it boils down to this – MLS will never, ever be able to integrate itself into the world game while it insists on it's current model. I know a lot of it is designed to give sustained growth both financially and in terms of player development, but it cannot work. You cannot expect one league to be able to join in when it does absolutely everything differently. This isn't like the designated hitter rule. This is square shape into a round hole stuff. If Chelsea wanted to sign Landon Donavan for about £7m (a fair price, probably) then LA Galaxy would see about £250,000 of that money. They couldn't go out and spend it all to replace him. This is the only league where that happens.
I really, really want soccer to take off in the States. Soccer has been 'on the brink' since the 70's, except nobody has dared to shove their chips onto the table and put the ante up. Look at the short term exposure that Beckham got. Now imagine if that was happening every season, because the MLS was viable option for top players. Top players attract top sponsors, which attracts top TV and fans through the turnstiles. Imagine if the MLS could field competitive sides against top European clubs. Imagine if when a player like Robinho gets unsettled and could move on, he could just as likely play in Houston as he could Barcelona.
MLS needs to take a look at Manchester City and Chelsea. They were pushed that next step by throwing money at it. I know I bemoan the money in football, but if it was used to propel soccer in the States then it would be a glorious thing. It would equal the karma.
Beckham must have repaid most, if not all and then some, of his price tag back in merchandising and marketing rights for LA Galaxy. If the New York Red Bulls threw $100m at Anelka, or if the Chicago Fire threw $200m Tevez, or whatever, it would get a fair bit of interest as well. It would also sustain interest. Players of that calibre also sustain financial interest, which is equal to that of fans.
Also, are you telling me that between any sports' minor league teams, colleges, midweek use of NFL stadiums and the like, MLS can't find a few 20,000 capacity venues to use during the winter? Are you telling me Red Bull or Mark Cuban don't have an extra $500m to invest?
More to the point, MLS appears to think that attracting one or two big players and money is the be all and end all. The absolute number one problem they have, even above the way the league is made up, is that no non-American player really cares about winning the MLS Cup. The reason some players are so desperate to play in The Premiership, Serie A, La Liga and the rest of them is because they are prestigious. To be able to say you won two or three of the biggest leagues in the world in your career is huge. It puts you in another class of athlete. It needs to be something an athlete wants to do. MLS won't take off overnight. Nor will it be able to slowly burble into life, like it is trying to do now. If the MLS puts in serious money and effort into recruiting players like Beckham, and spread the players around the league, the league itself becomes more prestigious. The league becomes a more viable option for players both financially and competitively. The increase in sponsor, TV and fan interest means bigger growth. Only then can the MLS really shine.
Now, last week I got a wrapping of the knuckles for making fun of David Beckham's beard. To quote Mr. Elevation - “He is all (MLS) has”. Well, once again, you don't have him. It is all but a done deal now that will see Sir David of Beckham return to Milan in order to ensure he gets his ticket to South Africa for the World Cup. Let's look at this two ways (as The Premiership isn't that full of scandal this week, I have some column space).
It is very, very good for England. Beckham lifts England. Not having Beckham in the England squad is awfully reminiscent of the mismanagement of England from a few years ago. He can still distribute the ball and deal with dead ball situations better than anyone else in that squad. When he was initially dropped, the argument was that he was not a part of England's future. That was true. He is still a massive part of England's present. Being in Milan will see Beckham gearing up for his last World Cup playing in one of the world's top leagues and for one of the world's top teams. Now, let's see if he continues his tradition of breaking his foot just before the tournament starts...
The down side is it shows MLS up for what it sort of is. I watch a fair bit of MLS when it's on ESPN over here. I mean absolutely no offence, but the standard isn't great. Football in the States has a lot of potential – just look at how good the USA National Team are – but MLS by their very nature are choking the game. I'm not even talking about player quality, as that can only get better as more young people choose to play soccer and the collegiate game improves. I'm talking in the nature of it's set up.
The season is out of sync with Europe as MLS team's can't play in the winter due to sharing stadia with NLF teams. The salary cap, draft and player caps that are present in MLS are unique to US soccer, and incompatible with the rest of the world. In terms of soccer, I also have real issues with the two conference system, although with the massive distances teams have to travel it is more than understandable.
I suppose it boils down to this – MLS will never, ever be able to integrate itself into the world game while it insists on it's current model. I know a lot of it is designed to give sustained growth both financially and in terms of player development, but it cannot work. You cannot expect one league to be able to join in when it does absolutely everything differently. This isn't like the designated hitter rule. This is square shape into a round hole stuff. If Chelsea wanted to sign Landon Donavan for about £7m (a fair price, probably) then LA Galaxy would see about £250,000 of that money. They couldn't go out and spend it all to replace him. This is the only league where that happens.
I really, really want soccer to take off in the States. Soccer has been 'on the brink' since the 70's, except nobody has dared to shove their chips onto the table and put the ante up. Look at the short term exposure that Beckham got. Now imagine if that was happening every season, because the MLS was viable option for top players. Top players attract top sponsors, which attracts top TV and fans through the turnstiles. Imagine if the MLS could field competitive sides against top European clubs. Imagine if when a player like Robinho gets unsettled and could move on, he could just as likely play in Houston as he could Barcelona.
MLS needs to take a look at Manchester City and Chelsea. They were pushed that next step by throwing money at it. I know I bemoan the money in football, but if it was used to propel soccer in the States then it would be a glorious thing. It would equal the karma.
Beckham must have repaid most, if not all and then some, of his price tag back in merchandising and marketing rights for LA Galaxy. If the New York Red Bulls threw $100m at Anelka, or if the Chicago Fire threw $200m Tevez, or whatever, it would get a fair bit of interest as well. It would also sustain interest. Players of that calibre also sustain financial interest, which is equal to that of fans.
Also, are you telling me that between any sports' minor league teams, colleges, midweek use of NFL stadiums and the like, MLS can't find a few 20,000 capacity venues to use during the winter? Are you telling me Red Bull or Mark Cuban don't have an extra $500m to invest?
More to the point, MLS appears to think that attracting one or two big players and money is the be all and end all. The absolute number one problem they have, even above the way the league is made up, is that no non-American player really cares about winning the MLS Cup. The reason some players are so desperate to play in The Premiership, Serie A, La Liga and the rest of them is because they are prestigious. To be able to say you won two or three of the biggest leagues in the world in your career is huge. It puts you in another class of athlete. It needs to be something an athlete wants to do. MLS won't take off overnight. Nor will it be able to slowly burble into life, like it is trying to do now. If the MLS puts in serious money and effort into recruiting players like Beckham, and spread the players around the league, the league itself becomes more prestigious. The league becomes a more viable option for players both financially and competitively. The increase in sponsor, TV and fan interest means bigger growth. Only then can the MLS really shine.
Monday, 2 November 2009
How you know if you had a good Halloween...
4am - Somehow make it to bed. Pass Out.
11am – Wake up in agony. Use bathroom, drink whatever liquid is on bedside table. Go back to sleep.
Midday – Wake up again. Eat rest of chow mein that was somehow obtained the night before. Go back to sleep.
1pm – Finally get up. Stumble downstairs. First flashbacks of inappropriate behaviour. Spend next hour breathing quietly in the corner. Take first aspirin.
2pm – Consider eating something. Think better of it.
2:30pm – Eat something. Regret it quickly. Spend more time breathing quietly in corner.
3pm – Track down phone. Check for drunken calls, texts and emails that may have been sent.
3:30pm – Firm reminders of inappropriate behaviour return. Breathe quietly in the corner while groaning.
4pm – Regain will to live.
4:30pm – Attempt first cigarette of day. Big mistake. Take two drags, dry heave and stub out. Will to live retreats again.
5pm – Check credit card balance. Pray that nothing was bought online.
5:30pm – Check wallet for cash. Find no notes but a small fortune in change.
6pm – Get phone call to check if you're still alive. When the answer is yes, get surprised answer.
8pm – Finally get enough liquid back in body to urinate. Get cocky and try another cigarette.
9pm – Finally the blood alcohol levels drop down to sane levels. Drive to fast food place and buy as much food as change allows.
10pm – Slink in front of sofa and suffer the affects of fast food. Check poker account to make sure no gambling occurred.
11pm – Go back to bed. Check Facebook on laptop. Loose will to live again.
11:30pm – Beer poo.
12:30am – Try to sleep. Body too broken to even achieve that.
1am – Start playing video games. Big mistake. Start feeling much better.
4am – Realise it is 4am. Feel almost back to full health.
6am – Go to sleep.
10am – Alarm clock goes off as you have to start working. Will to live completely goes.
7pm – Return to scene of crime. Be told of full details. Be surprised you were even allowed back in. Start planning fireworks night party to do it all over again.
11am – Wake up in agony. Use bathroom, drink whatever liquid is on bedside table. Go back to sleep.
Midday – Wake up again. Eat rest of chow mein that was somehow obtained the night before. Go back to sleep.
1pm – Finally get up. Stumble downstairs. First flashbacks of inappropriate behaviour. Spend next hour breathing quietly in the corner. Take first aspirin.
2pm – Consider eating something. Think better of it.
2:30pm – Eat something. Regret it quickly. Spend more time breathing quietly in corner.
3pm – Track down phone. Check for drunken calls, texts and emails that may have been sent.
3:30pm – Firm reminders of inappropriate behaviour return. Breathe quietly in the corner while groaning.
4pm – Regain will to live.
4:30pm – Attempt first cigarette of day. Big mistake. Take two drags, dry heave and stub out. Will to live retreats again.
5pm – Check credit card balance. Pray that nothing was bought online.
5:30pm – Check wallet for cash. Find no notes but a small fortune in change.
6pm – Get phone call to check if you're still alive. When the answer is yes, get surprised answer.
8pm – Finally get enough liquid back in body to urinate. Get cocky and try another cigarette.
9pm – Finally the blood alcohol levels drop down to sane levels. Drive to fast food place and buy as much food as change allows.
10pm – Slink in front of sofa and suffer the affects of fast food. Check poker account to make sure no gambling occurred.
11pm – Go back to bed. Check Facebook on laptop. Loose will to live again.
11:30pm – Beer poo.
12:30am – Try to sleep. Body too broken to even achieve that.
1am – Start playing video games. Big mistake. Start feeling much better.
4am – Realise it is 4am. Feel almost back to full health.
6am – Go to sleep.
10am – Alarm clock goes off as you have to start working. Will to live completely goes.
7pm – Return to scene of crime. Be told of full details. Be surprised you were even allowed back in. Start planning fireworks night party to do it all over again.
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