Cat Story

I swear to you that this story is true. This is the kind of silly life I lead.

On Friday, I didn't get done working till rather late. By that point, I couldn't be jacked to go and have a proper night out so I just made like a sad old man and walked up to the local pub for a few beers.

All seemed perfectly normal, I said hello to a few people and meandered outside for a cigarette. While outside doing my bestest to shorten my lifespan, I noticed a ginger cat chilling in the smoking area. Now, I hadn't ever seen this cat before in my life. It seemed quite friendly though. After a bit of investigation, I found out that someone had brought it down from another pub and that it was “his” cat. When he went to leave, he picked the cat up by the scruff, literally threw it in his jacked and marched off. I did think “what a prick” but, as I'm British so very reserved, didn't say anything to him. Before I finished my cigarette, though, he had thrown the thing back in the pub on his way off to god knows where.

Now, as always when you get a slightly odd situation in a pub, a roomful of men dissect and over analyse it. It all adds to the drama. We decided it didn't know where it was, as when all the humans went away the cat continued to just chill out outside. We decided it wasn't local to the pub (well, local in cat terms...) as nobody had seen it before. We therefore decided that the guy who had grabbed it and brought it down was in fact that much of an assclown that he grabbed a random cat. Come to think about it, yesterday when I mentioned that someone should do something I was told “I wouldn't, he will burn your house down.” Nice guy, then.

I considered bringing it home, but then thought better of it. It might have wandered home, it didn't seem in too much danger of being hit by a car and seeing as I was staying with my parents I didn't think they would like having this random cat brought home. Plus, we only put the family cat down last week. Too soon, man, too soon...

Anyway, I was last one out the pub. I suppose that is pretty normal really. I said goodbye to the cat, stuck in my headphones and began the walk back home. Except, when I stopped and got to the main road, I saw this little thing dart along the street. The sodding cat had followed me. I thought, as I was walking in the direction from which it was earlier snatched, it was just on it's way home. Except when I crossed the road, so did it. And when I walked down my road, so did it. It was most definitely following me. When I got to within about 30 metres of my house I was sure that it did not belong to anyone down my street and that it was for the best if I just brought the little critter back to mine. It happily followed me, and was in the front door as soon as I opened it.

Now, I had a decision to make. I had this random, strange cat follow me home. What the hell do you do? Looking at it, it had been well fed, although it showed a few signs of recent weight loss. I decided to chuck the thing some food and then went about my business. It seemed happy to chill out in the house. It unlocked the cat flap and it even went out and came back in.

By the time I went to sleep, I had shut it in the kitchen so it could get outside but not get around the rest of the house. In the morning, it was gone. I assumed it had gotten over being grabbed and yanked by the cuff, had some food and just sort of catted off somewhere.

Yesterday afternoon, however, the thing turfed back up. My dad instantly recognised the thing as a local cat who used to both play with the old family cat and sometimes sneak in and try to steal our old cat's food. Safe in the knowledge it was local, we just ignored it and thought it would go home at some point when it got hungry.

Except, it didn't. It hung around all evening. And all night. I heard it meowing when I went to sleep, and when I woke up this morning I heard it meow again. It hadn't been anywhere but our front door step. Taking pity on it, we gave it some food. It had been there all night and, although I don't exactly want the thing keeping on coming back, felt sorry for it.

Anyway, that's pretty much it. TL;DR - This damned cat followed me home and is trying to move in. Tomorrow we'll call the RSPCA and get some advice. Might even see if they will send an officer to give it a scan and see if it's chipped (no collar, you see). Assuming that nobody has reported the thing missing to the RSPCA, which they may well have done as it would have been missing since Friday afternoon, we will see if it can be identified. Failing that, we'll leave it with them.

Then, we get a really effed up decision. What happens if nobody claims him or an owner can't be found? Do... do we keep it?

Sort of nothingy post I know, but all weekend has been focused around this darn cat.