Dear Cold: Fuck You

Dear Cold,

I understand that you chose to infect me, and frankly I enjoyed the fact that it gave me an excuse to develop a borderline Night Nurse addiction and spend three days on the sofa. Now, though, it is Monday. I need to work. I quite enjoy earning money, and if I don't work then I don't get any. Giving me sporadic fits where I explode in a snotty cloud of germ isn't really conductive to me being able to buy food this week.

Neither are the pounding headaches, either. They really bug me. I do NOT like headaches, you see. To put it bluntly, Mr Cold, they fuck me right off. In a week where I'm having to do far too much web design work, which gives me a headache anyway, they are totally NOT helpful.


I also have to be awake all weekend covering the Australian Grand Prix for The Black Stuff. Colds do not help that.

Please. Go away. Now. The Night Nurse can stay though....

Thank you in advance,

Me